Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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