I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
