omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
