it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar