is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped