Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Drake has all the answers
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.