I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
