One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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