is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
