I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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