Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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