so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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