He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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