he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
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She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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