Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
