after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
