Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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