Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
