I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
