he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
