3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I can text with my tongue
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
