I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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