What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
