I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
