bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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