So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
