Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
