i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
