i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
