I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
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every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
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Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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