the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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