I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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