Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
