party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
