Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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