I think scott just propositioned me for sex
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
operation harelip BJ is a go
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
