I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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