is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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