My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize