No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
