Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
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Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
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Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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