Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
