That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
