when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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