Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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