The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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