Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
