wrigley field is MILF paradise
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
