she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
