I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
