i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
