I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
