4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
