I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
