So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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