The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
