If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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