Jerry, you need to find god
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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