She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
