She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
