garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
