i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
