oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I want to walk on stilts...naked
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
