Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sarcasm needs its own font
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
