And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
