How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
